Once Again!

This morning, the alarm goes off and the usual "music legends" radio station comes booming forth right in my ear. (The alarm clock only gets one radio station). I have been woken out of peaceful slumber from everyone from Elvis to Dolly Parton to Frank Sinatra, its actually quite amusing at times. Anyway, the alarm clock sounds, and everything in my body says "if you get out of bed right now, I promise you I will make you regret it", so what could I do? I hit the snooze and rolled over and fell back asleep (This occurred a total of like 5 times). Finally, when the alarm goes off for the sixth time, and for some reason there was some sort of big band music playing, which I still have not figured out, I force myself to roll out of the bed. At this point my normal morning routine is going to have to be altered for the lack of extra time.

I literally run around getting ready, shaving etc...in a hectic whirlwind. All the while I notice my mind is dwelling on some very negative thoughts that had rolled over from a day or two before. As I was trying to concentrate on getting my shoes on and finding a matching pair of socks (which at times I forego in order to save a few minutes of searching), I am really focusing on analyzing what is going through my mind......

After some thought, and missing a couple of belt loops with my belt, I realize that I am really sitting and making a ton, and I mean a ton of assumptions about things going on, and from that was falling into a very large trap. If continuing on the path which I had started from the moment I woke up, it would not be long before all that thought and assumption would draw me into anxiety, pride, and an attitude of wanting to control the things affecting the issue.

So, as I rushed out the door, 10 minutes behind schedule, I stopped and prayed a little prayer, that the Lord would just take all that thought process away from me, and not let me focus on any aspect of it. Then I wrestled with the door key, ran to the truck and was on the road to work.

In my CD player was the CD I was listening to yesterday, "Kutless" Strong Tower. You see yesterday as I was driving around I was listening through the CD, which I had many, many times before, and there was a song that was really sticking with me, that I hadn't really "LISTENED TO" previously. Sure, I had heard it as I sang along, obliterating most of the chorus, but I hadn't really listened....

So this morning, I flip it to the track, and this is what I hear:

"I lift my eyes up
Unto the Mountains
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from you
Maker of Heaven
Creator of the Earth

Oh how I need you Lord
You are my only hope
You're my only prayer
So I will wait for you
To come and rescue me
Come and give me life

The title of the song is "I lift my eyes up". I went through the AH-HAH! moment. I am not giving this situation to the Lord. I am trying to take control, and save myself, and those around me. Where is my trust? Im trying to put trust in myself!! This is why Im struggling with all these worthless, useless assumptions. If I truly sit and realize, the Lord is my only hope, He is my only prayer, and He will rescue me from the situation, I find so much more peace, than when I try to save myself. He actually can see all the variables at work, and prevent, and predict them...I on the otherhand, am only making up long winded explanations that could be completely false and irrelevant. So, as I drove (letting the song repeat over, and over and over) a scripture I read yesterday came to my mind.

Jesus and the parable of the unworthy servants
"Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field. Come at once and recline at table? Will he not rather say to him Prepare supper form me and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink? Does he thank the servant because he did what he was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants, we have only done what is our duty.'" Luke 17:7-10

My pride is such a sneaky thing. Getting to a point where I think I can understand and resolve other people's issues is a very scary thing. This is point I realized I was getting to. Who am I to think I deserve anything more than what the Lord has given me, and who am I to sit and expect that I would be able to resolve a situation simply because it makes me feel uncomfortable. If I truly am an unworthy servant, than I must try to keep two things is mind:

1. As the song states, rely on the Lord to take care of the issues around me, and trust Him, even when I don't see, and continue to understand that he the Savior of my soul, but also the savior of my life, heart, mind, emotions, friends, and circumstances. He is faithful and there is no need to fear or doubt that he will not provide exactly what I need, when I need it.

2. As the verses state, watching closely, that I don't get to a prideful place, where I believe, that I shouldn't be in the hard spots, or difficult circumstances in life, but as an unworthy servant, I serve the Lord through the good, the bad, the tough days, and the blessed days, and am content in serving, and serving alone, without expectation of return. After all, something that is so easy to forget in the times of trials is that we deserve far worse, and only by the grace of the Lord we are allowed an opportunity to serve Him, which is the only thing that really matters.

So, as the title states, I have once again been humbled by how awesome the Lord is!