Choice and Focus

What a wonderful thing to be loved by family. After a long trip down to the old hometown of Beaumont, I feel refreshed and revived. There is nothing quite like seeing happy familiar faces, and talking for hours about matters that are affecting me, with people who love me so unconditionally. Through these long conversations, many thoughts and ideas usually come through my mind, which may or may not directly pertain to the conversation at hand. After the talks end, and I go back over the things mentioned and points made, I usually find that I learned more than I realized.

This weekend I came to a very deep, yet almost blatantly obvious conclusion. In this Christian walk, coping with the hard times, and enjoying the good times, can most easily be accomplished by examining two things.................choice and focus. Many of us go through life on a daily basis in misery. We choose in a sense, to focus on the troubles and trials around us, and therefore find that we are most certainly sinking into a sea of suffering, and pain. What is it that can keep us from getting swallowed by an angry pool of hurt? It is our choice of focus.

The hard part of all this is that often it seems as though this is much easier said than done. The entire concept of choice, and the difficulty involved with focus can be traced to Adam and Eve in the garden. More specifically on their choice to sin. The passage goes like this:

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?' And the woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, "You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die.'"Genesis 3:1-3 (ESV)

Here comes my focusing point:

"But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God knowing good and evil." So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate." Genesis 3:4-6 (ESV)

So taking all this together it happened in short form like this: God makes perfectly clear a rule that he wants followed, we hear this, and understand this. Then Satan brings doubt into the equation, and finally our own flesh begins to cloud the firm understanding we had. Finally, we are at a point of choice, either do the thing which the Lord has told us not to, or trust the Lord above all. Eve was the first of us to be distracted by Satan, and his distraction left her with a vulnerable point in her heart for her own flesh to take advantage of. Nonetheless, the bottom line is that Eve still made a choice to do that thing which she knew she should not and it caused her pain. This battle still holds true to this day.

If we for one second begin to place our focus on the questions, doubts, fears, and troubles that Satan throws at us constantly, then we leave a vulnerable spot open to our very own flesh Once we are in the position of being attacked by our own worldly desires, we have a tendency to lose sight of the firm truth that the Lord has made known. The very things He tells us to avoid, for our own good, begin to seem like the very things we need in order to find happiness. As we focus on these things, we don't find happiness or peace, but find that the misery grows and grows and grows.

What then do we do to counteract this sinful nature we have?..............Controlling our focus and choice. In those moments that we are thrown a flaming dart by Satan, we always have a choice of where to put our focus. We can stand there, and focus on the dart (which can be a very easy thing to do, since darts sometimes take the form of the most desired things we can imagine), or we can throw our shield of faith up! In the act of protecting ourselves with our shield, we are choosing to focus instead on the inside cover of the shield, and the way it forms a protective cover over us. This moment of choice is crucial. Without the protection of the shield to keep the darts from hitting hard in our flesh,we are opening up a vulnerable spot for attack. If the dart hits us, the pain begins, it can then torment us,which causes us to focus on it, and at that point it leaves us vulnerable to the onslaught of similar darts that will undoubtedly follow. You see, as we are wrestling with the one that hit us, our focus becomes our pain, and not on blocking those bigger darts that will follow. We are left exposed, our shield lying on the ground, while we sit there in the middle of the battle field hurting and frantically trying to curtail this feeling of intense hurt. Our focus now becomes the pain, not the dart. Many don't understand that this is the point at which the attack really begins! It is similar to two boxers in a 16 round match, when one opponent sees the other beginning to weaken and falter, he begins to hit harder and with more power because a weakness has been exposed. There has been a strategy of trying to save strength and power for a moment like this, so that it can be unloaded at the most effective moment. This in the hopes of putting the opponent completely out of the fight.

What is the focus on the shield? Well, the shield of faith is part of the armor of God, as described by Paul. (Ephesians 6:16)By focusing on our faith, and the comfort and protection it gives us from the darts of the world, we are not choosing to focus on the darts! The shield covers our eyes! We respect our shield for its power, and look at it for the amazing weapon that it is, after all it has usually proven itself to us time and time again. It is more powerful that any dart, it never gets dented, it never gets scratched, it remains strong, and steadfast.....dart after dart after dart. Even when we drop it, we can pick it back up, and it still holds true. The best defense to keeping our eyes focused on the power that protects us?.........Grow the shield we have.Focus on making it grow thicker and stronger with each battle faced. During the battle, and during the times we are not fighting, focus on faith. Focus on Christ, and allowing Him to grow you.

The thing to remember is that we are in a war, and every day, every moment can be a battle. Satan certainly wants for us, more than anything, to get so focused on our darts, so that we lose focus on faith. That being said, the Lord is with us,and He wants more than anything for us to follow him, but he also explains that it will not be an easy road. "And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever will save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." Luke 9:23-34 (ESV) Deny himself, and follow me,..........don't look at the darts, and follow behind the shield. A daily choice.

-Joshua

On to the Next Stage!

Now that I have finally gotten past the tests, projects, and pure stress associated with finishing up an MBA, I have finally gotten a few moments to sit and ponder what is to come. I am about to begin a new stage in life, and certainly there are many unanswered questions. Where will I work, where will I live, what will the next year look like? These are all issues that have flashed through my mind in the course of the last few days. I can't say that I sit in a state of anxiety, but I can say I look forward to where the Lord moves me with great anticipation. As the Lord has blessed me through the past year I have learned a thing or two about waiting for Him to work. I know this area of patience is one of my most difficult to accept and learn, so it comes as no surprise to me that the Lord usually makes everything come together for me at the last second.

Let me tell you, this strategy has grown and stretched me more than almost anything else in my walk. While I certainly struggle at times with waiting on the Lord, at this point in my life I can say that I have made large progressive leaps towards becoming "patient". My favorite verses in the Bible expands on how patience molds us. James 1:2-4 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." So the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, well considering this life is made up of a multitude of continual tests, it is great to be able to see the reasoning for it all. When you are tested, stretched, and tried to a point of almost breaking, what is it all for? It is to move you closer with Christ. Patience is a form of stretching, and is also a true test of humility. Can I sit and just..........Wait, wait on Him to put me where He wants me to be? Reliance on His will, and His power to open any door, anywhere, anytime. Do I truly trust Him to take care of me? All these questions present themselves through the act of waiting. But what is gained through the the process? You become closer to who Christ wants you to be, perfect and complete. When I learned the first lesson in my life about reliance on Christ to supply my needs, it stuck. The thing I had to realize is that to my flesh, this need that the Lord met in incredible ways, is argued away as one that occurred in a vacuum, and was never meant to be used across all problems and needs in my life. The Lord recognizes my self-willed, self-reliant attitude, and from that, He constantly stretches me, and brings me back to the edge of my faith. This in the process of making me once again, rely on Him to make the step into the dark unknown areas that I have never explored before. What comes from this constant movement, and often painstaking repetition of steps?..........Trust, Hope, and Faith. I grow more confident through every trial that the Lord can supply ANY and all needs. The more I realize this, the more he puts me out there again, to wait on Him. Without the constant battle of facing the unknown, without control, how will I ever truly learn reliance. If there is even the smallest amount of pride that I am in control and make the decisions that are best for me, how could it be that I truly trust and rely on Him! I think this is a contradiction that the Lord is in the business of removing from our lives, and at times he does so through some of the very trials that so often we pray in the hopes that we will never have to face.

What is Love?

Today it seems like every time I turn around I am confronted with weddings. Not just from friends, but from businesses, and billboards, and even casual conversations that I pass by in restaurants. In short, today's weddings are a business; machines programmed to gobble up money faster than tech stocks in 2000. After thinking on this a while, I concluded that it almost seems as though the focus of marriage is more on the ceremony, than on its true purpose..........love. Now, I don't believe every wedding falls into this trap, but unmistakably more and more are getting sucked into the wedding ceremony snowball.

I do believe that these extravagantly expensive weddings do have some symbolism. They symbolize what love has come to mean to marriage today. The view is a romantically, and idealistically seen idea that is more pomp and circumstance, than reality. So, the question I am posing through all this is, what is love?

The basis for answering this question is one that is found throughout the Bible. Two sets of verses that have been on my heart, include (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and 1 John 3: 16-18) From what I know, studying these words, love is not: always happy, always perfect, always positive, always joyful. Love is more commitment, perseverance, and hard; rather than spontaneous, fleeting, and easy. I feel that today we see love more as something that we are entitled to receive, as opposed to a gift that we must give without the expectation of getting in return. Love is by no means simple, and does not protect against hurt and pain, rather it is very hard and serves as a median through which we can share the true essence of Christ. In 1 John 3:16-18, it is stated "by this we know love". We know love through Christ's gift to us. His unwavering resolve and commitment to experience the depth of pain and agony for us; all this without any expectation that we would return that love to Him. He is, and was given, for us and to save us, because he first loved us. So, how can we live under the commandment in John 13:34 to "love one another, just as I have loved you" without taking the vantage point of love, through any pain, and given without any thought of receiving?

Why is love so difficult? Because, it is the true median in which to share Christ. By loving to this depth, and placing others above yourself, what happens? You are in the position to show Christ, through an experience to others. What makes more of a lasting impression? Loving someone that you float with on cloud #9, or loving someone who has hurt you to depth of pain you never felt you could experience? When we love through our horrendous sufferings, they see it, and they feel it, and it has the power to change more deeply than is imagined.

How do you love this way? I believe this is part of sanctification. This kind of love is a continual process of growth. I can only say where it starts. It starts by taking a hard look at where love began, who first loved us, and realizing that love is more than that emotional feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach. It is deeper than happiness, and joy. Love is; placing yourself as a median through which others can have the opportunity to love back, not necessarily the expectation that they will. The hard part is that to those whom you give love, the choice not to love rest squarely on their shoulders, and you have no way of manipulating that choice. But, giving and giving and giving though no return is ever witnessed, is love. It is perseverance, it is discipline, it is suffering, it is hope, it is faith, it is perfect.

-Joshua

Getting Close to the End

Graduation Day........December 10, 2005. What have I learned over the past 16 months? That the Lord can change a person into things that they never thought or dreamed they could be. As I look back at myself, and examine the circumstances that have occurred in my life, I realize I found something I never had......peace. I now consider myself changed forever through the willingness to walk close with Christ. This is in sharp contrast to my once selfish attitude. You see, I once viewed my Christian life in the sense of walking around thinking Christ would follow. By doing this I was taking my life in my own hands, and focusing on my own will, and the result..... I was constantly tormented. This torment came from all directions all the time; it was mostly from feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, lust, greed, envy, coveting, and loneliness. In short, the effects of living in the world, and for the world.

In contrast to those tough and lonely times, I now have a blessing of peace. While my world continues to accelerate, and changes happen more frequently and with more consequence, I sit and realize, I am at peace. When fear and doubt creep in, ultimately I have an intense calm and constant reminder that I am not living life for myself, and therefore should not feel the need to control the situations around me. My only responsibility in those circumstances is to REACT and to react in the way the Lord wants. Now this does go with the disclaimer that times occur when I know I go against God's will, and times occurr when I just totally miss God's will from being pre-occupied, or just too busy. That does not mean that His will does not ultimately get accomplished, it only means that He had to get it accomplished either with me, or without me taking part. You see, the Lord gives us the opportunity to bring glory to Himself, and our demise is that sometimes we miss that! Whether circumstances I face would be deemed bad, or good doesn't really change the decisions the Lord wants me to make; I think it only changes my perspective as to how much am I willing to wait and learn what the Lord wants me to do.

Now, just reading this some may say, yea sure.....Peace, whatever? Well, I can certainly understand that response, and would venture to say that obviously this is something you have never experienced. I realize that to those in utter misery right now, that you are comparing your life with mine, and making statements to the effect that I have never been where you have, and thus have no idea the hurt and pain you struggle with on a daily basis. In response, I say, I agree. I have only lived my life and know experience and hurt through my eyes. One thing I do know is that Christ knows EXACTLY how you feel. After all He became a man on Earth, and experienced life just as we do. The amazing thing about it all is that He chose to do the will of God every step in the process.

Some may also say, what does Jesus know about internal pain and suffering He had God with Him to help him through the tough times? How can he truly relate? In response I would encourage you to read Luke 22:44. This verse will give you an accurate description of the internal pain that Jesus faced while alive, and hopefully will give you a more humbled perspective of the pain that you are struggling with. Jesus does understand your hurt, your fears, your pain, and your suffering........And He is the one that can give you a peace about facing it. When I got to the point where I finally just let go, that is when peace entered my life. Now, the control over my life is in the hands of the One who can do the job. The only role I really want to play is choosing to wait for him to show me what to do , and then do it! I also understand, that although this process sounds relatively simple, I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how to accomplish it!

-Joshua

What a Weekend!

Well. I have been trying to get something posted on here since last week, and have finally gotten a short chance today. For all of those unaware, it was certainly an eventful weekend! Instead of going into all the details, I just want to comment on some things I learned through it all.

First, the Lord will put us in situations in which we must face potential harsh realities we may not have ever expected.

Second, He may not want us to face those realities fully at that point in time, but undoubtedly He will use them to teach us that we need to prepare for those instances if they were to occur.

Third, in a trial, the first reaction is usually to over react, and learning to control this response can allow the Lord to show you exactly how much He is aware of your needs, and how to meet them.

Fourth, the Lord can re-arrange stars if it is needed to get His will accomplished, so why do we have such a hard time letting go of our smallest needs to Him?

As the days pass by, I am constantly reminded that a walk with the Lord is a continuous process. On this side of heaven we are only going to have a limited understanding of God, and His will and perfect plan for our lives. (see1 Corinthians 13:12) But, I believe that one thing is for sure, if we are wise enough to really try to learn how much God is in control of all things and focus on learning how to live our lives in submission to that fact daily in EVERYTHING we need; we will be able see His AWESOME power and ability to meet all our needs on a constant basis. When we see Him bless us in the big needs, we usually recognize it is from Him, and therefore give thanks for his grace, but when was the last time we really focused on recognizing Him in the smallest needs we have, and gave Him just as much glory?