Comfort

I was listening to a Newsboy CD last night, this song says a lot:

"When the Tears Fall" Newsboys, Devotion CD

I've Had Questions
Without Answers
I've known Sorrow
I Have Known Pain
But there's one thing
That I'll cling to
You're Faithful
Jesus, You're true


When Hope is Lost
I'll Call You Savior
When Pain Surrounds
I'll Call you Healer
When Silence Falls
You'll be the Song within my heart


In the Lone hour
Of my Sorrow
Through the darkest
Night of my soul
You surround me
And Sustain Me
My Defender
Forever More


And I will Praise you
I will praise you
When the tears fall
Still I will sing to you
I will praise you
Jesus Praise you
Through the suffering
I will sing


It is certainly not easy to praise the Lord sometimes, especially in the tough circumstances, but we are still called to do it. The one thing that we should keep in mind is that our lives are not about us. They are about Him. While it's easy for us to get down and discouraged, and then want to stop praising the Lord, these are the times when we should praise Him most. If you have studied the ministry of Jesus, or the life of Paul, pain and suffering are a huge part of their lives. As followers of Christ, and God's children, why would our lives not follow the same path. Suffering is part of our walk, and through even the most difficult pain we are supposed to strive towards praising the name of Jesus. Walking in his ways is not always easy, but that should not change our perspective on how thankful we should be to Him. He has given us eternal life, and that gift was paid for by his suffering. In the darkest times in our lives we won't come near to experiencing the sufferings He went through for us, so all we can hope to do is carry our hurts and praise Him for them.

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12,13

I am sure Peter knew a thing our two about trials, He denied Jesus three times right before Jesus was beaten and killed for Him. I am sure that it took Peter a while to understand the trial that he had went through, but through that trial God was able to use him to write the above scripture to help us in our painful circumstances. We rejoice in our sufferings knowing that one day the Lord's glory will be revealed and that is worth the pain we face.

Quick Note

Does anyone else get tired of thinking? My brain doesn't know when to stop. This is one of the many reasons why I love following the Lord. You don't have to think so much. Of course, I always overthink things, even in the process of learning how to live by faith. I guess as we follow the Lord we begin to learn more about what the balance is between faith and thinking. Sometimes, I wish that there was a switch connected to the back of my neck that I could turn off all unneeded repetitive thoughts. When I faced a problem at work, or something like that, I would simply turn the switch on, just long enough to drive myself 80% of the way insane, but also with enough new thoughts to derive a somewhat logical conclusion to a problem. At the conclusion of the thought to solve the issue, I would simply flip the "repetitive useless thought" switch off, and go on about my day. I know this is random, but wanted to blog a little before I left for the weekend. Hope everyone is doing well, and leave me a comment about the new blog format if you get a chance, too much green? Yea, I kind of wanted to go for that "way over done 70's retro feel" that seems to be prevalent today, oh wait, that is only in regard to my couch at the house! Have a great weekend everyone.

Update on my Brother

I found out today that Jacob may be getting out of the hospital on Friday, and allowed to go home. It has been over a month since his accident, and he is just now going to leave the hospital. It has been a tough road for Jake this far, and I suspect that we will still have a ways to go before he has fully recovered from the accident, but overall I am so grateful to know that over time he should make a full recovery. Thank you for all your prayers, support, and concern for him, while he may not get a chance to meet you, I know that he is forever thankful for all of your support in this tough time. The Lord has done, and is still working miraculous things in his life, and lives of my family.

Please keep up the prayers for all of us, as there is still plenty of healing left to occur. It truly is a blessing to have so many who care and I can't express how thankful I am for all of you.

Works Based Mentality

This is a deeper post, so this is your pre-post warning.

As I was driving earlier today, a thought crossed my mind? Why is it so difficult to get 20-somethings into church? I mean, it has seem to become the anti-everything. Church means anti-fun, anti-happiness, anti-laziness, etc...What has this generation become? We sit and wait for things to be brought before us, in which we can stand back and judge negatively, without really being open to experiencing or investigating. We look at church, and claim it is not the answer, yet most of us don't even have the slightest clue what "church" actually is. We are so focused on Christ not being the answer, that in reality we have probably never even gotten far enough past our own egos to allow Him the opportunity to be. So, where does this disdain for religion, and anything remotely pointing thereto, come from?

My thoughts:

Growing up in church as a kid (and let me state right here that I understand my experience is not directly applicable to everyone, so take this with a grain of salt, and allow it to stand for what it is, my own story), some of what I remember, is the pressure I felt at times about "doing" evangelism. As I reflect back on my thought processes at the time, I remember that my idea of a Christian was defined by one word "evangelize". I am saved therefore, I must be espousing the salvation plan to everyone I see. If I am not doing this, I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing, so therefore something is wrong with me. You see, I was (as difficult as many of you may find this) a very shy kid growing up. The thought of going up to someone and directly confronting them on believing in Jesus was quite intimidating to me. As I grew older, this never seemed to be something that got easier to do, and yet I felt guilty at times for not doing it enough. Now, this is where Im going to tie this together.

I feel that many of us "20 somethings" went through similar circumstances, and therefore developed somewhat of a "giving up" attitude towards our Christian Walk. We set back and decided, I am never going to be this person who can instantly turn people in one conversation, into a follower of Christ, so therefore I shouldn't even waste my time trying. The problem begins here. Suddenly, this feeling of, I am not like that, I am different, and therefore I don't need to push forward with the Lord, begins to take hold. We simply became deceived, and then defeated in the idea of pointing towards Jesus. Then we started getting side tracked in all the many distractions that the world told us were more important than "church". Through this process, a resentment began to form. "I was told of all this peace and happiness I would experience when I trusted Jesus, but all I have found is that I am not good enough to be a Christian, because I can't evangelize!" Now, years after trusting the Lord, these gen x'ers are no further along in Christian development than when they first trusted the Lord.

So what is there to do. Once again, my opinion, but lets start with showing those very skeptical Christians the truth through our actions as believers, and allow them to see the freedom we have from the very concerns that they struggle with. Allow the Lord to work through us in our daily lives, in our decisions, and our everyday existence. After all, we are "salt and light", so lets continue in our saltiness, to preserve the character of the Lord, and be light through everything about us, not just the words that we speak. Let's focus on growing into a deeper, stronger relationship with Lord, and gaining an understanding that He is big enough to use not only the words I say, but also the love, and actions I show, to bring his children to himself. Let's share the gospel in truth about the way the Lord has given us freedom, through our testimonies. In short, lets get past the guilt we feel for not evangelizing, and begin working in the place the Lord has planted us, to show the gospel in ways that people may have never seen or heard! The bottom line is Christ, not only telling him, but showing him, not only vocally worshipping him, but worshipping him in every thought, and action in our lives, so that those around us can "see our good works, and give glory to our Father who is in Heaven". After all, "They will know we are Christians by our love". So, start, loving on those who need love, start helping those who need help, and always, above all else, be pointing to the Lord in every part of who you are, so that those whom you may never,ever notice are watching you, can see the Lord come through without a word ever being said.

Know this is a soapbox, so as always post comments and let me know your thoughts!

-Josh

Where does the time go?

Im sitting here at work, coffee in one hand, and Famous Amos cookies in the other (breakfast Okay). I have one question going through my mind? Where does the time go? I used to think back in grad school that I didn't have enough time to get everything done, but that was nothing compared to now. Every time I turn around there is some small errand that I need to run, or I have to stop and eat or sleep. I mean 24 is just not enough hours in the day sometimes. This is not a blog in which I am complaining (too much), just trying to figure out where those extra hours in which I could do laundry, clean the house, and study for my dreaded Series 65 Exam go. In all actuality, the problem is more prioritizing more than anything else, but hey, it makes me feel better to think that the day time hours are in a conspiracy to keep me from catching everything up! haha. Anyway, I know this is short and sweet, but just hoping that everyone out there thinking the same thing realizes they are not alone.

Heading Home for the Weekend

As soon as I leave work, Im heading to pick up my old friend,Dodge Neon, and together we are going to take another 4 hour journey down to Beaumont. Along the way there will be many laughs and memories to share,......... just me and my rental car!

Its going to be just like old times, three months ago, when I pulled up to Enterprise and met RC for the first time. He was a cool car, and the only issue I had with him, was his lack of 20th, yea that's right 20th century, technology (NO CD PLAYER!). As we headed out of Dallas I tell it was going to be a great trip, RC was cruising at an RPM rate, which Im sure he very rarely reached, and I was jamming to the tape deck! j/k even I don't have anymore cassettes! As I looked down, I noticed that the previous RC driver had really done me a huge favor, and returned RC with only about 1/16 of a tank of gas, so before I hit the Dallas City Limit Sign I had to stop and fill up. Now, here is where RC and I really begin to bond. As many of you know, gas stations below the south side of 635 are not among the most inviting places to stop in the DFW metroplex. So RC and I pull slowly into the closest GS, and pull up to the pump. As I step out of the car, I notice, at this particular "convenient store" that there are bars on the windows and doors, and the clerk is situated behind a partician of glass, with a little slot in which you could pay. No worries I thought all this security is probably just a way to help the customers feel more "secure" in purchasing their gasoline. After filling up RC, buying some candy, and paying the "box guy". I jumped in RC and took off towards Big B-town. After two hours, I was starting to get hungry, so I stopped at one place always stop on the trip to Beaumont, Whataburger!, not sure why, it has sort of become my own personal tradition. I head into Whataburger, and get a number 1, with cheese, and fries, with tons and tons of my favorite ketchup in the world. RC all the while is out in the parking lot taking a rest from a very tiring trip thus far. He certainly had all the hampster wheels turning as we were driving, and I could tell that the gasoline from "Jack's Grocery, Gas, and Guy in the Box" was probably not the best as far as combustion goes. After eating I jump back in the car, and proceed down the road. One note about this trip was that I was going to be cutting through Huntsville to Livingston, and then dropping down to Beaumont circa the back woods highways. What does the mean? RC was probably not going to have a very fun time.....As I slid off the interstate and turned onto the Texas state highway system, I begin to really push ole RC. Short stopping, and sharp turns was only the beginning. But, this was not the worst part...the worst part for RC was....the bugs! Man oh man were there a ton of insects flying around in the deep east Texas woods that night. It felt as though I was in a locusts plague! Poor RC by the time we reached Beaumont he was no longer that shiny white face I had grown to love, but was now a little duller in the paint, and a little less polished than he had been a few hours previously. Needless to say, I never did wash RC, and the four trip home was very similar to trip down to Beaumont. So, all this to say, Im looking forward to catching up with Dodge neon this afternoon, it should be an emotional reunion.

Once Again!

This morning, the alarm goes off and the usual "music legends" radio station comes booming forth right in my ear. (The alarm clock only gets one radio station). I have been woken out of peaceful slumber from everyone from Elvis to Dolly Parton to Frank Sinatra, its actually quite amusing at times. Anyway, the alarm clock sounds, and everything in my body says "if you get out of bed right now, I promise you I will make you regret it", so what could I do? I hit the snooze and rolled over and fell back asleep (This occurred a total of like 5 times). Finally, when the alarm goes off for the sixth time, and for some reason there was some sort of big band music playing, which I still have not figured out, I force myself to roll out of the bed. At this point my normal morning routine is going to have to be altered for the lack of extra time.

I literally run around getting ready, shaving etc...in a hectic whirlwind. All the while I notice my mind is dwelling on some very negative thoughts that had rolled over from a day or two before. As I was trying to concentrate on getting my shoes on and finding a matching pair of socks (which at times I forego in order to save a few minutes of searching), I am really focusing on analyzing what is going through my mind......

After some thought, and missing a couple of belt loops with my belt, I realize that I am really sitting and making a ton, and I mean a ton of assumptions about things going on, and from that was falling into a very large trap. If continuing on the path which I had started from the moment I woke up, it would not be long before all that thought and assumption would draw me into anxiety, pride, and an attitude of wanting to control the things affecting the issue.

So, as I rushed out the door, 10 minutes behind schedule, I stopped and prayed a little prayer, that the Lord would just take all that thought process away from me, and not let me focus on any aspect of it. Then I wrestled with the door key, ran to the truck and was on the road to work.

In my CD player was the CD I was listening to yesterday, "Kutless" Strong Tower. You see yesterday as I was driving around I was listening through the CD, which I had many, many times before, and there was a song that was really sticking with me, that I hadn't really "LISTENED TO" previously. Sure, I had heard it as I sang along, obliterating most of the chorus, but I hadn't really listened....

So this morning, I flip it to the track, and this is what I hear:

"I lift my eyes up
Unto the Mountains
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from you
Maker of Heaven
Creator of the Earth

Oh how I need you Lord
You are my only hope
You're my only prayer
So I will wait for you
To come and rescue me
Come and give me life

The title of the song is "I lift my eyes up". I went through the AH-HAH! moment. I am not giving this situation to the Lord. I am trying to take control, and save myself, and those around me. Where is my trust? Im trying to put trust in myself!! This is why Im struggling with all these worthless, useless assumptions. If I truly sit and realize, the Lord is my only hope, He is my only prayer, and He will rescue me from the situation, I find so much more peace, than when I try to save myself. He actually can see all the variables at work, and prevent, and predict them...I on the otherhand, am only making up long winded explanations that could be completely false and irrelevant. So, as I drove (letting the song repeat over, and over and over) a scripture I read yesterday came to my mind.

Jesus and the parable of the unworthy servants
"Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field. Come at once and recline at table? Will he not rather say to him Prepare supper form me and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink? Does he thank the servant because he did what he was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants, we have only done what is our duty.'" Luke 17:7-10

My pride is such a sneaky thing. Getting to a point where I think I can understand and resolve other people's issues is a very scary thing. This is point I realized I was getting to. Who am I to think I deserve anything more than what the Lord has given me, and who am I to sit and expect that I would be able to resolve a situation simply because it makes me feel uncomfortable. If I truly am an unworthy servant, than I must try to keep two things is mind:

1. As the song states, rely on the Lord to take care of the issues around me, and trust Him, even when I don't see, and continue to understand that he the Savior of my soul, but also the savior of my life, heart, mind, emotions, friends, and circumstances. He is faithful and there is no need to fear or doubt that he will not provide exactly what I need, when I need it.

2. As the verses state, watching closely, that I don't get to a prideful place, where I believe, that I shouldn't be in the hard spots, or difficult circumstances in life, but as an unworthy servant, I serve the Lord through the good, the bad, the tough days, and the blessed days, and am content in serving, and serving alone, without expectation of return. After all, something that is so easy to forget in the times of trials is that we deserve far worse, and only by the grace of the Lord we are allowed an opportunity to serve Him, which is the only thing that really matters.

So, as the title states, I have once again been humbled by how awesome the Lord is!

Technical difficulties!

Alright, I was trying to change up the blog a bit, and lost all my links...I will try to have them back, and maybe even add some new ones, ASAP. Until then, I leave you with this:

" A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35, Jesus

Ah! High School, What a fun time!

Last night, as a group of us got together for a prayer meeting and dinner, we chose to go out for some pizza. So, we walked in the door of a pretty crowded pizza place and sat down at at a small table close to the corner. As I looked over, I noticed a group of high school aged kids sitting around the table beside us, and kind or reminisced about those days that were a few years back for me. I think there were about 4 guys and a couple of girls, and who even knows what kind of conversation was going on. You had the usual occurrences: the cool guy (who didn't say to much), the leader (wearing a shirt that grabbed as much attention as possible), the tag along (the kid just happy to have made the invite), and the jock. On the girl side you had the outgoing popular girl, and her quiet friend. Now why make such a fuss about all this? Well, really its more just to think back on those fun high school days, and at the interesting decisions that we all made that, at the time seemed like a great idea..

What am I talking about? Well at this particular pizza place they have what is known as the Super Giant Pizza, this thing is 20" across....It is BIG!. So upon sitting down and casually glancing over at the high school table, I noticed the waitress brought, not one, but two of these gigantic pies. At this point just about everyone at my table looks up and notices the goings on directly beside us, and quietly we began drawing conclusions among ourselves about the amount of this greasy-carb filled circle was going to be devoured by this "21 century breakfast club". I stated, "there is no way they are going to be able to finish all those off". While a very close friend of mine was quite sure that they would. Well, after a little discussion, we went about our meal, and had an occasional break to glance over and size up the pizza meter. At times it looked good for me, and at times I wasn't so sure that they wouldn't finish. When all was said and done, we look over, and from what we could gather there were only about two pieces of pizza left of the entire set. Now, you would think that meant I was correct, but I do believe I lost on a technicality. You see, the girl, and her friend, probably being the wisest of everyone in the restaurant, decided to forego the large cheesy grease filled monster, and not eat. So, in reality if they had chosen to eat the pizza would have been gone. I was in amazement at the shear will power of the boys. I know that while eating all that pizza seemed like a great idea at the time, that more than likely they were going to face some major heart-burn later in the night! But, alas, they certainly had gained my respect. A side note, they were moving a tad slower by the end of the meal than they had at the beginning....

While thinking about all this, I started remembering some of the many, many questionable decisions I had made in high school. I am sure that at one point in time or another, there was probably some way to observant weird guy, watching something I did, and shaking his head in disbelief at what an interesting decision I had chose to make, and this made me kind of smile to myself. It also made me think about how much we are all so similar, and experience so many of the same things in our lives. But, we never truly take the time to recognize that we can learn something about ourselves by simply watching those who are going through those things we went through. Too many times we are interested in trying to help guide them, based on our previous experiences. I looked at it this way, if when I was 18, and with a group of my friends in high school, some 20-something, guy began questionning a decision I had made, I doubt it would have changed anything, I probably would have thought he had too many issues, and went on making my interesting decisions......

Scary thought, if I ever have a son, I wonder what interesting decisions he is going to make, or even more scary a daughter!!!???

BTW-I really love spell check, if it were not for this amazing instrument, you would most certainly question how I made it out of high school!

Im Tired

Just a quick note, sorry I havn't written in a while. Life is moving really fast right now. I am emotionally, spiritually, and physically drained. I think it is time for me to rest. Hopefully I will. Thank you all for your prayers, concerns, and encouragement. I recieved more news tonight, and it looks as though Jacob is going to be another 3-4 weeks in the hospital. Please, please keep the prayers coming for him. The Lord is working through all this, I can see it so many ways. Your support means so much to my family. I truly wish I had some encoouragement for everyone out there, but right now it would only be an attempt. I will say this, I love you all. I thank each of you for your love for me. Stay strong brothers and sisters, one day we will all be together in glory, and oh how marvelous a day that will be. For now lets keep on planting those seeds of good fruit each day, each hour, each minute. Who knows who will see your light today? Shine on!