What a week

It is 12:24 am on Saturday, and I am sitting in a hotel room in the middle of East Texas, up and blogging when I should be sleeping. As many of you know, and to those that don't my little (6'5" 225lb) brother got in a serious car accident last Saturday. Since then, there have been many emotional highs and lows. Currently it looks as though things are very positive, but at the same time he will be in ICU until at least the end of the weekend. This week has been a blur of activity and emotion, as we wait for Jake to get stable enough to move to a room. Right now I am a tad tired, and spiritually at a lower point than usual. I am in a tired state, and from that those everyday trials seem to be gaining strength and size day by day. I feel incredibly blessed at the amazing miracles the Lord has already blessed my family with through the situation, and am still in great anticipation of all that could come out of such a tragic event. There has been an outpouring of love all around my brother for a stream of almost seven straight days, and it does my heart so much good to see Christ touching my family through those who love Him.

I have never been through anything as serious as this before, and from it I have tried to observe as much as I could, and learn as much as I could. One thing that has struck me is the intense pain and agony I felt last Sunday at the thought of the intense pain (physically, emotinally, and spiritually) that my brother had endured through the night. Without going into details, I will say that it was probably a life changing experience. As I sat and heard him describe the accident, the lonely hours afterwards, and the moments leading to the surgery, I just sat heart broken at the trial he had to face that night. As I sat reflecting over his experience the Lord really helped me find peace about it all, and since then I have been rather optimistic of all the many things the Lord could do through all of this.

On the other side of the equation I have had a very interesting week spiritually. I feel that my fatigue and emotional state are certainly amplifying many usually minor trials that I face on a pretty regular basis. Right now, patience and anger are two that I am battling much more than usual. Its not that I feel angry or impatient with the Lord, it is just that everyday situations are becoming somewhat more of an issue than usual: one example would be traffic on the drive down this afternoon. I guess not sleeping enough, not eating well, and not getting enough quiet time are all part of the equation, but I also feel like this is a way for me to truly work on some areas that are otherwise ignored when there is less stress involved. Patience is not something which I claim to have a whole whole lot of, although since really starting to walk with the Lord I have made vast improvements, and at this point I find that I am really in a place to focus on the times when I am being impatient and learn to wait and navigate through the circumstance before just reacting.

I am ready to see my brother tomorrow, ( I havnt seen him since Tuesday), and really hope that he is less medicated this weekend in order to be able to encourage him. He is making great progress in his healing, and I have decided that his new nickname will be Superman. (I even tried to convince him to get a S tatooed on his chest). One thing about it, I love the big lug. He is one of a kind, and he has a great heart. If he ever reads this part he will probably punch me or something like that, but hey, its worth it. I hope everyone has a great weekend, and please keep ole jake in your prayers......