Random Pictures

I have had a few friends e-mail some random pics over the past couple of days, so figure Id post a few:

First,
Last weekend, at Dallas One, and Jars of Clay Concert:








David, Me, Stacy, and Bradford After a long day of work....Funny, I don't see to be too tired.....hummmmm....I did work, I promise!
Okay, This takes longer than I thought, I guess that is all for now, this takes a ton of space to upload pictures....Hope everyone has a great weekend, and stay tuned for pictures from Celebrate Freedom!

Why is it......

That when we ask the Lord for something, and get it, there are times when we turn right back around and whine about it to Him.

This has hit me on two levels over the last few days, and the Lord has really used them in tandem to get me to see how ungrateful I can be to Him.

First, in reading Exodus 14 the other morning, I read about Israel escaping out of Egypt on the way to the promised land. After years of prayer, and asking the Lord to free them from slavery to the Egyptians, they are finally on their way out.

At this time, the Egyptians had decided that they wanted the Israelites back, and were in pursuit of them heading towards the Red Sea. The place the Lord has hit me in the heart is here, it is the point at which Israel, aware of the impending Egyptians, cry out to the Lord, look up to Moses, and say, " Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness?, What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt?, Is this not what we said to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone so that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness." Exodus 14:11-12

What? Is that?

They had just been crying out to the Lord to free them from the Egyptians for years and years and years....Now, all of a sudden they are given an answered prayer (ie they are free from Egypt, and what now, they tell the lord and Moses, hey, we liked it under the Egyptians, why is it that you have brought us out here where it is uncomfortable to die?) (okay this a paraphrase) But, the point is this, They cry to Lord, please do this for me, the Lord does it, although maybe not in the way they had planned in their minds, at the same time, the Lord is using them to bring glory to himself through the Egyptians, and now in the middle of it all, Israel wants to go back to that place they previously despised, and cried to the Lord about it. Now, not to be hard on the Israelites, because as I thought about this this morning, I found out I am at this very moment doing the VERY SAME THING!

Last night, I prayed that the Lord would show me some things; in my prayers, I had an expectation of how these revelations of my heart would make me "feel". Well, sure enough, this morning I wake up, and I am facing the things I prayed about, literally like a mirror, I am seeing inside my heart. And bottom line, is that it hurts....its hurts alot! So, what do I do!? I turn right around and pray for God to take it away, and put me back in a place of previous comfort, of not looking at it! or as I have been asking him for "a place of peace". WHAT!? I just read about this two days, ago, and here I am , doing the same thing. I knew when I prayed that it was not going to be easy, I knew when I prayed that it would hurt, but not even one hour into the mourning, and pain, am I calling on him to relieve me of it, how ungrateful is that? Instead of praising Him for answering the prayer I wanted Him to answer, I immediately ask Him to send me back to the place I was before, where I was comfortable, and content! So, as I pouted around all morning, the Lord kept brining Israel back to my mind, and reminding me that He hears these kinds of things all the time from me. Some of it, is a lack of remembering, exactly what it is was I prayed for, and therefore, forgetting that the Lord may be working on one of the very requests I had asked him, and part of it is that I am not being thankful for the amazing learning, and growth that will come through the prayer that he answered. So, I guess this blog was more a way for me to get all this out, than anything else, and hopefully help me bring it to my heart. Thanks you all for listening.

I am addicted to candy

I have now eaten today:
1 package of M&M's
4 small York Peppermint Patties
1 small Butterfinger

I ask myself why? The conclusion: because we have a candy box sitting in the kitchen, and whenever I go get some water, I have to grab some candy.

There has been some good come from all this though, I am reminded every time I eat a piece of candy that I need to go get my cavity filled at the dentist.

Hopefully the pain will get so bad that I will actually pick up the phone and schedule the appointment, but for now I am going to enjoy another butterfinger.

FYI-Don't ever eat honey if you have a cavity.

Just a Note or Two

First thing is first, I am changing my e-mail address! For all of those who currently e-mail me (that would be the one or two of you out there) please change my address from the current joshualeesmith@sbcglobal.net to the new and improved (also FREE)

smith.joshualee@yahoo.com

I have e-mailed my address book with this change, but if for some reason I missed you, please take note, AFTER JULY SBC will no longer be active! (This is due, to me being tired of paying the bill on DSL!)

Okay on to the blog today!


So, now that my six month grace period for school loans is up, I am facing my first payment in July. As I stare at the due date, I realize that it is certainly time to start trying to budget a little better.

My first attempt at this new "budgeting experience" is to cut down on my infamous eating out. For some reason this has turned into quite the expensive habit! So upon generating ideas from friends, I have come to the conclusion that I should go buy some groceries! Well, I finally turned my truck into the Wal-Mart parking lot on Sunday, with the expectation of saving some major cash. As I walked down the isles I determined that I needed to buy easy, quick and cheap items in order to save time and money! So my first thoughts turned to Eggs, and Tuna Fish! (Not together of course, eggs for breakfast, Tuna for lunch). I walk up to the tuna isle and proceed to stack 16 cans of that wonderful processed fish product into my basket. Feeling quite content that I had enough protein to feed a small army, and only having spent about $10.00 I headed to buy bread....Two loaves of the generic wheat for under a buck a piece will do. Then onto the eggs, by this point I was sure that I had this shopping thing all figured out, and was not going to get roped into spending more than was absolutely necessary. Oh wait, Pringles sound good, two cans only a buck a piece woo-hoo! I sure would like some Orange Juice to go with my eggs, and what about fruit, yea fruit is always good. So, I head all the way back to the front of the grocery isle, and look through the apples before deciding on two golden apples and two granny smith apples, and 5 bananas! "Do I have any Mayonnaise in the fridge?" Don't know, Tuna sure will be dry without mayonnaise, alright, Ill buy the small jar.......Wait what about dinner?!! Oh yea, I can just eat Tuna!! That's Genius! I can see the dollars I am saving adding up by the moment. Ah man, I forgot that I need tooth paste, Is tooth paste really this expensive.....Hey what's this, some new mouth wash, hey it fights cavity, and fortifies teeth! and its a cool blue peppermint ah what the heck! Ill try it out. I sure am glad I don't have to buy razors today, those things are like expensive!

On to check out...I think Im going to make it out of this place pretty cheap today, but no more point of sale purchases! I already bit the dust on the orange juice, fruit, mayonnaise, and mouthwash! So here I go, if I can just make it through the check out line I will be golden, and....now I am loading the tuna, "man, did I really need all this tuna?", and the bread, fruit, mayonnaise, oran..ge....juice, "hey, I should buy some gum! I DID IT AGAIN!" So then I pay and leave! (Yes, I did buy the gum)

Happy Father's Day!

When I was about 10 years old, I was a chunky little guy, with black wire framed glasses, and course thick brown hair. On most Saturday mornings you could find me sitting, rather contently in front of the television, watching cartoons, and finishing up 3 or 4 bowls of fruity pebbles. If it were up to me, I would sit there all day along, or at least until about 1:00, when the X-men cartoons ended, and be quite happy.

One Saturday morning I was shaken to the depth of my being by an event that still brings a laugh to my father's heart, and a sparkle to his eye, every time he tells it. "That doesn't make any sense" you ask, surely your dad would not laugh at your mental anguish? Yes, he would, but it is understandable for a couple of reasons: 1. While he orchestrated an event that to this day has given me a fear of domesticated farm animals, he was also, in the process, teaching me a life long lesson (one of those father/son moments). 2. I have issues, so therefore the mental anguish is more because of me, not him.....

So, on to the story. As I was sitting 3 feet away from a 42" inch Mitsubishi Console TV one Saturday, in about Mid Summer, I hear the front door open and my dad stick his head in and tell me to come outside. In my mind, I was trying to gauge the tone in which he told me to move, (I wasn't sure if I should be worried that I had left something out in the yard after being told numerous times to remove such object). I remember being somewhat confused, but headed out the door anyway. When I got outside, my dad pointed to a hairy four legged animal standing about 50 yards away in our yard. As I stood beside my dad, a little groggy from leaving the comfortable air conditioned house and walking into 90+ degree heat, he says, "take this rope, tie around that goat and bring it down the street to its house". (You see, our neighbors had a small variety of small farm animals, and this so-called "goat" had escaped and decided that the grass in my front yard, of all places, was the best). By the way, I am still bitter about this.......and I am still bitter towards goats most of the time......Sometimes I have nightmares.

So, being the naive, obedient son,.....I think, "hey, no biggie, its just a goat, Ill head over, rope this guy, and be back in time for Garfield!" So, I grab the rope and confidently walk towards this somewhat innocent looking animal. It just stands there eating, with its back to me, like it couldn't care less about what I was doing. So, I walk right up to it, put the rope around its neck, and then it happens! ATTACK of the GOAT!!!!!!!!! (By the way, the goat had horns, very large, curved and mean looking horns!)

As I tried to slip the rope around its neck, the goat catches on to the situation, and decides that my hand will take the place of the grass! It actually tried to bite me, but me, having cat like reflexes, and having just seen a preview for the new x-men, intelligently reach up and grab the goats horns with both hands....now,.... I thought, I have total control, Of Course, my dad didn't seem to have this same confidence, as I could look and see him literally rolling on the ground laughing. But I wasn't bitter, of course I did yell at him, "DAD, THE GOAT TRIED TO BITE ME"! NOW ITS TRYING TO RAM ME WITH ITS HORNS! WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!!!

My father was somewhat unavailable for advice because he was too busy trying to stop laughing to catch his breath, and my dilemma of being rammed by a Billy Goat (the goat was the biggest goat I had ever seen!) (of course it also was the only real life goat I had seen), seemed to only make it more difficult for him to quit laughing.

At this point, I knew there was a crucial decision to be made, either wait around and get rammed and bitten, or run for my life, and pray that goats were not as fast as an overweight, somewhat slow 10 year old boy who was scared for his life......

I chose the latter of the two options.

Once again, with X-Men close in mind, I sling the goats horns as hard as I can away from me, and proceed to run faster than a cheetah with its tail on fire, down the drive way, past my dad (who at this time was sitting in a small pond of tears due to what is now considered the funniest moment in history, I guess), and into the front door of the house, where I slammed the door and fell on the couch in a whirlwind of emotion.

Needless to say, my dad finally composed himself, maybe an hour or so later, and took care of the goat for me. I would never be the same again after that day, and sometimes I contribute most of my issues to this single event of trauma.

Now how does all of this connect to the Word?

After reading in my quiet time this AM, I read a verse that at first I kinda chuckled over, but didn't really spend much time thinking about. Then at lunch today, I was going back over what I had read, and as I sat on my couch thinking, I busted out laughing. (No joke, this was a hard laugh, if someone had been in the room with me, Im sure I would have looked somewhat crazy). I just sat and started thinking about what I had read this morning, and it just reminded me of the story of the goat. So what verse am I referring to?

Exodus 4:1-4

In these verses, the Lord is instructing Moses from the burning bush, and he is specifically telling Moses the great signs he will use when in front of pharaoh to show the power the Lord. So picking up in verse 1:

"Then Moses answered, "But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, 'The Lord did not appear to you.'" The Lord said to him, "What is that in your hand?" He said, "A staff"And He (the Lord) said, "Throw it on the ground." So he(Moses) threw it on the ground, and it became a serpent, and Moses ran from it. But the Lord said to Moses, "Put out your hand and catch it by the tail" -so he put out his hand and caught it, and it became a staff in his hand-

When I started picturing old Moses, (remember this is not a coward of a man by any sort, He had killed a man, and when he saw the burning bush, he was like, Im going to walk right up to this thing and see what it is..)(that is until the Lord told him to stop, at which point he got pretty scared), I started thinking about him seeing that snake. Then I started thinking about how he took off running AAAHHHH!!!! when that snake appeared....(reminded me of how I took off when that goat tried to bite me). As I thought about this, I realized how important that the one little statement is, "Moses ran from it". How much more human of an attribute is there than a healthy fear of snakes? I mean, I don't know too many people (except for maybe my brother), who actually like these things. At the same time, I kind of picture God, in the place of my dad, chuckling to Himself at Moses's reaction. This to me, helps me put more of a physical understanding to my walk with the Lord. While He is the God and creator of all things, He is also a dear friend, and father, who sometimes teaches us things in our lives that seem monumentally scary, but in hind sight, we are able to see that He is total control of the situation, and only growing us stronger out of love for us.

You see, my dad, probably had a good idea all along what my reaction would be to the goat (me being his son, he knows me as well as I know myself probably better), and at the same time, he knew that the goat was not going to really hurt me, no matter what I did to it. In his mind, his love, and experience and wisdom had found a perfect opportunity through a real physical situation to teach me some important things about myself. At the same time, he probably knew the reaction was going to be a funny one, and that there would be more to come from it than just the lesson he was trying to teach. Through it all he was right on both accounts, and in the larger picture of things, that one scary goat situation has brought a lot of joy to many friends and family. (a lot of joy, even 15 years later).

Technology AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

I am sitting at my desk, listening to elevator music through the speaker phone as I type. Every so often, a message will pipe through, "your expected wait time is less than ? minutes" The funny thing is, that this has occurred about 10 times over the past five minutes, and each time the voice changes its time it has went, from less than 3 minutes, to more than 3 minutes, to less than 5 minutes, to more than 2 minutes......How the heck am I supposed to know? It makes no sense.

I figure that I have spent a grand total of about one hour's worth of time over the past week, JUST TRYING TO GET A HUMAN BEING ON THE PHONE, and the reason, is to answer a question in regard to the WEBSITE! How ironic is this!

But Im not bitter about the automated voice that won't allow me to to talk to anyone until after I have listened to it explain seven hundred ways that I can accomplish all I need online, and I am not bitter that I have to explain the same information to the person I talk to after I have entered it 500 times, or the fact, that I just hung up on the guy who picked up because I hit the wrong number on my phone that is too complicated for its own good!

So here I am waiting again.........lets time this. Start time 11:30, going through the phone tree......Listening to a bunch of electronic voice information for the 400th time.......oh great 6 menu options! Goodie, which one should I choose to get to the person faster, another tree, and another tree....here we go for all other options! Yes!! Re-enter "your personal information", now being transferred, and now we wait!

For assurance of quality customer service this call may be monitored or recorded!!!!!! And I am waiting....

Keep in mind, I am sitting through all of this because I am actually going to pay these people money, they obviously don't care about my feelings......oh, my wait time is less than 10 minutes!

If anyone was interested, they have now informed me 73 times through their automated voice, that "Monday's are their busiest days"......considering it is Thursday, this doesn't make me feel any better.

Still waiting, it is now 11:38

Just think, someone, somewhere thought that automated voice operators were actually going to revolutionize the world! Genius! Thank You.

"Oh, don't forget you can log-on to the website, and e-mail your questions!"

The electronic voice lady is a liar.

it is 11:41

They picked up at 11:43

My phone hung up on them again.

I give up.

To Everyone Having a Bad Day

Snow Skiing will be continued at a later date. This is because it is a long story, which I need more time than is available right now, to write. But, if you can't stand the suspense of it all, feel free to call me, and I will explain over the phone. In the mean time, know that I have not forgotten about finishing it for now.

Why is it that some days you roll over hit the alarm clock (for the 43rd time), and you just know as soon as you open your eyes that it is going to be one of those days? You know, the days where you battle every thought, you fight every urge, and you sit in uncomfortable emotions for hours. As I thought about this when I woke up this morning, I decided that I was not going to dwell on the negative. So, I started pushing my mind to search out truth. I opened up the Word and began reading a few chapters in Exodus. I would like to say that upon closing the book, I was instantly uplifted, and ready to face the world, but alas I wasn't. I then started making it through the morning routine, of shaving etc., and began praying for peace and comfort. (I have a tendency to be repetitive when I ask the Lord for something, especially when it is something that makes me feel uncomfortable). Then, I go turn on the radio, hoping for some uplifting praise songs. Long story short, I couldn't seem to get past this foggy negative feeling that has taken hold of my mind. Now, earlier on in my walk I would have probably been frantically trying to find an explanation about why I couldn't just "turn my frown upside down", and would more than likely have contributed this to something I did, or did not do for the Lord. But now, my feelings and thoughts are different about these tough days. I have determined that days like these are days that need to be endured with patience, and with an understanding that the Lord is aware of our plight. There is no need to worry about when it will end, there is no need to worry about why it occurred. It is only a day in which you can glorify the Lord in a way that may not be as comfortable as other more joyful days. In the process of waiting during the uncomfortable, and tough times we glorify Him through our trust that He is in control. As the Lord told Paul "My grace is sufficient for you". Understanding may not be the goal of these days, and peace may not be the reward. Enduring with an unfailing trust that the Lord is with you even when you can't see, feel, or experience Him, is an act of worship in and of itself.

Snow Skiing in June? Part One

This will be a two part blog!

Here is a classic tale that I remember from time to time. When I remember it, I usually have a few weeks of great fun in re-telling it over and over and over, until those around start saying......."yea, you already told us that one!" "Why do you still laugh so much about it, snow-skiing yea, we got it!

Pride can teach many painful lessons in life. Why is it so difficult for us to ask for help, or admit we are just not very bright about certain things? I don't know, but sometimes it seems as though learning that "pride comes before the fall" is tougher than climing a mountain! Literally!

So, at the ripe old age of 20; myself, my best friend, and two other buddies head out into a vacation that skiers across the nation dream about; four days in the snowy land of Vail, Colorado. After many months of planning, (and much effort on the part of my counterparts to convince me that skiing was actually a fun thing to do), my buddies and I landed in the Denver Airport, and started driving towards the winter paradise known by all as "Vail". Now it should be noted, that being the Southern Texas boy that I am, prior to my 20 year in existence on this planet I had never seen snow.....Seriously, and boy was I excited! "Snow, how awesome is that, it is like white, and cold." (Little did I know I could experience this fascinating creation much cheaper, by opening my freezer and scraping the ice from the sides of the box into my hand). But, I am not bitter.

So anyway, we go rent our Dodge Intrepid (yea, four guys, ski gear, and luggage, in a dodge intrepid, another one of those great ways to save a few bucks, kind of like the mattress) and we begin our long journey UP THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN!(oh yea, it was in the snow too). We drive for a few hours, in pitch black darkness, while it was snowing, around twists and turns that only had a small piece of somewhat old looking steele keeping the car from barreling down off the side of the cliffs. But Im not bitter.

What made this situation even more dramatic, was that every once and a while I would look up and see a small road that would immediately swerve off to a dead end up a large hill. There was always a sign that would explain these sporadic hills were for OUT OF CONTROL 18-WHEELERS to use when they could not get there rigs to stop properly. Great. So here I am, on a mountain somewhere, with four guys that tell me skiing is fun, in a Dodge intrepid, in the dark, while it is snowing, and I am surrounded by small slivers of metal (maybe even aluminum) that are used for the purpose of keeping "the intrepid" from flying off the side of a cliff while avoiding out of control big rigs! But I am not bitter.

So anyway. After a few hours of travel, a stop on the side of the road, to "see the snow", (which at the time I thought would be a great idea to run around in) (In case you haven't learned this the hard way, when you play in snow, your clothes get wet, and when your clothes get wet, and you stay outside, it has a tendency to get cold), and to help out a young lady who had slid into the ditch(she was fine, although maybe a little intoxicated), we make it to the resort. By the way,Im still not bitter.

After a few hours of sleep we awaken to a beautiful Colorado morning, and head out to get our rented skis! And here I will stop and say to be continued........ Don't worry the second half of the story is where the fun begins! Let's just say it involves me on top of a mountain with ski's and no lessons!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Well, after much thinking, analysis, and feedback, I have determined to continue down the blogging path on which I have started. Everyone's comments are very appreciated and taken with great consideration.........

On Sunday, after heading downtown, and attending the Global Day of Prayer (http://www.gdop.org/) , my group headed out to eat at a local McDonalds in downtown Dallas. After battling the barrage of one way streets in downtown dallas, and making more than one U-turn, we finally arrive at the golden arches. We went in, ordered, and sat down to eat. I got up to the counter, and realized that when you're hungry, everything on the menu seems to have a strange appeal that sounds very appetizing. I couldn't at first decide , but eventually settled on a quarter ponder, and an order of chicken nuggets. After everyone got seated, the real fun began.....

I was sitting in a chair across from my good friend Brian (http://www.brianaldenbass.com/) (also linked in favorite blogs), and a few other very close friends. (BTW-I have mentioned to Brian that he would be the center piece for this blog, so everyone please show support and check out his blog too!). So as we were sitting, I noticed a girl and a guy walk through the door. To me, they didn't seem to really fit together, but nevertheless they came in together. As I observed them in line ordering, it all seemed very uncomfortable, and not very normal. At this point I also observed that the girl had this huge, and Im talking ginormous back pack. It was a large, green, military back pack, but she was dressed in civilian clothes. On top of this, did I mention this back pack was very very B-I-G! So, as I sat there observing the interaction between her and the fellow that came in with her, the question began to nag me.....what is in that back pack? Is it just clothes?, if so, is it like all the clothes that she owns?, or is there something else in there? After I pointed this out to the group, we had a short discussion about the bag, and then I noticed something even more bizarre! The girl went and sat alone at one table (with the incredibly large bag), and the guy went and sat across the restaurant in another booth, alone. After this, I began to tell my group (Brian was sitting directly across from me) that I was going to ask this girl what was in her bag. It was bugging me too much. At that time she was on the phone, so I said "As soon as she gets off the phone Im going to go ask her what is in that bag?" Keep in mind at this point the bag was on the floor and she had her foot planted right on top of it in almost a defensive stance.

This is the point where Brian enters the equation. He states "If you do that, Im going to be embarrassed", "Whether you get embarrassed or not, its going to embarrass me." Well, I knew that I wouldn't be embarrassed, but it intrigued me that Brian would in affect, be embarrassed for me. To me what was even more interesting was that, he wasn't embarrassed about explaining his "embarrassment meter". He very calmly, and plainly pointed to the facts, that he gets embarrassed whenever someone does something out of the ordinary, because he puts himself in the place of the person that is getting talked to. Or in other words, it is a form of empathy for the person that is the subject of the bizarre behavior, ie (the girl that I was going to ask about the bag). It is a very admirable, and respectable quality in my mind, I am somewhat the same way, the bottom line is that both Brian and I, don't want others to be uncomfortable. So, Brian with his by the bystanders embarrassment meter, actually shows a deep care and concern for others, because he is in a way, sharing their potential embarrassment. So with all this in mind, I tried to explain myself, in the hopes of minimizing the potential for many red faces, mine, the girl's, and Brians. My thoughts are that if people are comfortable, no matter what the situation, they won't get embarrassed. So, whenever I face a situation in which there could be embarrassment caused because of an out of the ordinary circumstance, I try to deflect most the attention onto myself, in order that the other person does not feel the attention is on them.

After trying to explain that there should be no embarrassment, Brian still stood on the fact that he was going to be embarrassed if I went up to this complete and total stranger and began asking them questions about the contents of thier personal property. Which I did....., and still do, understand. But, I couldn't help myself, I had to know the story behind this monstrously huge satchel. So, what did I do?.........

I waited for the girl to get off the phone, and walked right up to her, and made clear my intentions. Honestly, and without hesitation or time for her to feel uncomfortable. It went something like this:

"Hi, my name is Josh, I know this is weird, but I saw that bag of yours, and its just so big, and I had to come ask what it was all about, and what was inside of it?" "Are you in the army?"

I could see there was hesitation in her eyes, and expression, so what did I do? I kept talking...Asking questions, and keeping a large smile on my face, explaining over and over again, how strange this is, but I truly could not help it, I had to know! the bag was just really big? So, after a couple of more moments pass, she explains that she is in the military, and that she is a door gunner on a Blackhawk Helicopter. She is passing through Dallas on her way to Oklahoma for training, and that the bag was full of, military equipment, and such. Well, after this I was extremely interested, and had to ask "Have you been to Iraq?" No, she said, "but Im shipping out in August." What is your name again, I ask? "Jessica" Are you scared about heading over there? "No" Man, oh man how cool is that. We talked for a few more minutes, and she explained the situation with the guy she walked in with, (apparently he asked her for some food the moment she stepped off the bus in Dallas), and after a few more minutes, she had to go. I told her bye, and headed back over to my table, and to Brian.

Now, as you may have guessed, my first question was, "Did you get embarrassed?" and the response. "Well, I was embarrassing on a scale of about a 5 when you walked up and started talking to her, but then I thought, "oh man if he sits down, then Im going to get really embarrassed. And then you sat down! and I was embarrassed on a scale of about an 8!". His explanation was priceless, and it was so funny how he could explain the embarrassment factor so rationally! This was the point in which I knew a blog would have to be written explaining this embarrassment meter!

Well, what comes from this long rant and rave? To me if was a few things.

You will never know if you don't ask.

Compassion and empathy can be seen in more than one way. (embarrassment meters)

Old friends bring a comfort and perspective that is priceless, and new friends can be sitting only a table away.

Everyone has interesting stories, all you have to do is take the time to find them.

From a small experience like this, I will never, ever see the downtown Dallas McDonalds the same way again. There will forever be a fun, and happy memory attached that I will visit every time I pass by it.

I need to pray more for our military, and constantly be thankful for those who protect my freedom to write things like this.

I NEED HONEST FEEDBACK

Alright, this is short and sweet, but serves a huge purpose. I NEED FEEDBACK. As I read through my blog postings as of late, and analyze myself at the same time, I get the feeling that the focus of all this writing has turned more towards puffing myself up, than glorifying the Lord. So, this is where you (the one or two faithful readers out there) come into play. I need honest (and they can even be anonymous) comments about how this blog reads. If, in reading this you feel as though I talk about myself too much, and that it sounds as though all I do is glorify myself THEN SAY THAT! Honestly, there will be no hurt feelings. I have been feeling very convicted about pride as of late, and so a little humility will do me some major good. I just sit and write sometimes, and don't take too much time to analyze the way it may sound to others who read it, especially those who don't know me as well as my family. This is a request that I am very serious about, and your honest opinion will determine the future of this blog......Thanks to everyone

-Joshua

Am I really an Adult?

Today I was just looking around my cube, and I think it is safe to say that it is official, "I am a grown man!" I am out of school, I have a full-time job, and I wash all my own dishes, clothes, and rooms in my apartment. As I sat and absorbed this for a minute, I realized this is the point of life that I have wanted to be at from the time I was about ten years old. My dream was to be out there on my own, independent, earning my own living, and making my own decisions. Well, that time has arrived, and boy did it sneak up on me quickly. I guess the old saying that time only goes by faster as you get older still holds true. So, I sat and asked myself today, How do you feel about being an adult? Is it everything you had hoped it would be? After hesitating for only a split second I decided "YES! YES IT IS!" All the long days in school, all the years of waiting to graduate, all the many decisions along the way, yes I would say that I am certainly very happy that I am a grown up, and I wouldn't trade it. So for everyone under the age of 22 reading this right now, yes, it is just as great as you would imagine it is. One thing is for certain, when James speaks that our lives are "but a vapor" it certainly makes sense. Suddenly, I find myself in my mid 20's, but still feel as though my life is some how only beginning.

Now the great thing about getting older is not just the responsiblity increasing, but each that passes is one day closer to Heaven! To many reading this I may sound as though Im on some type of drug or something, but in reality it is that I just have such happiness when I think that the small amount of time we are given on this Earth is so so short in comparison to eternity. The small glimpses we get of Heaven while living in the fallen World will pale in comparison to the life above with the Lord. It is so intriguing to sit and ponder eternity sometimes, what exact will it look like, who will I know there? Will we all sing and praise and worship all the time? I know that we still have a job to do down here, and that our focus should be on the moment in front of us, but man, how great, no more pain suffering, and sorrow.........sure sounds great to me. As I was listening to my bible on tape in the car today, I was listening to the last few chapters in Acts, and heard this: Paul was standing trial in Caesarea, and the Jews wanted to kill him, in one of his defense remarks he states, "If then I am a wrongdoer and have committed anything for which I deserve to die, I do not seek to escape death." Acts 25: 11 It just kinda hit me, Paul knew what awaited him after death, and he was so sure of this, that he would willingly be put to death if he was justly found to be guilty. I was asking myself, WHAT A DEFENSE! Not only does it exude the fact that he was confident he had done nothing wrong, but more importantly it exudes his confidence in his faith! A defense and a testimony! So anyway, Paul was most certainly the man. I know all this seems to be rambling, but hopefully the underlying point is made that Heaven is going to be AWESOME!

I Have Issues

This past weekend I focused on relaxing a bit. Saturday was a great day because my Sunday School class headed out to celebrate the class birthdays for May. After eating dinner, we all headed over to Dave and Buster's to play some games. The above picture is me playing "Gone Fishing" which involves a polar bear hitting some type of large fish with a club! It was a great time. What I wanted to mention about Saturday was that I decided to wear a shirt that I had been saving for a situation such as this. It was one I purchased in Beaumont a few weeks back, and when I saw it, I immediately knew it would be a great people watching and analyzing tool. You see the shirt, which you can't really see in the picture, is a white t-shirt that has three words in dark black on the front chest. The shirt simply says " I Have Issues". Not only do I feel this is an incredibly honest statement when I am wearing it, but I also feel that everyone on this planet can relate to this in one way or another. Which of course, is why I saved wearing this shirt for a time when I would be around complete strangers for most of the day. As expected, I received many comments, glances, and remarks all day long. I had more than one conversation regarding the commonality of issues. For me, the shirt was not a way to show off, or be noticed, as much as it was a way for me to observe others. While many people see me, and the things I do sometimes as immature and sometimes irrational, what many don't realize is that usually my actions are simply a way for me to observe re-actions of those around me. Why do this? It gives me a much better perspective sometimes of where a person is really at. Catching people off guard can allow you to see past the mask and covering of "issues", and into the person's unguarded self. To me, this is the place I want to be with every relationship I have. Past all the masks and cover ups, into the authenticity of the people I care about. I try to connect with people in a way that shows I truly do care and relate, and this is authentic, not manufactured, no matter who they are or where they have been. So, if I have to make a fool of myself in order to reach someone who is hurting, then so be it. After all, I can use all the humility I can get sometimes. The flesh is constantly battling pride, and reminding myself that I am only a fellow servant on this Earth and nothing else, is a consistent need. Hope all had a great Memorial Day!

Laundry

For everyone who has shared a washer and drier with complete strangers, this story is for you. The other night, I went home a little earlier than usual and found that I needed to wash some clothes. It was probably about 9:00pm so I decided it was probably a safe time to confiscate the communal washing machines and driers that the apartment complex has for its tenants to use. First, let me say, I don't particularly enjoy doing laundry, but I really don't like that once this process begins at the community washateria, it usually must be monitored for a time of no less than two hours. Why is this? Well, so far in my experiences I have come across more than one issue regarding laundry day. Once, I walked into the laundry room just in time to find a young lady trying to steal my towels. She instantly began taking "my laundry" out of her basket, the moment I walked in the door. Second, I have found that there are people in this world who will open the door to your clothes while they are drying, (which stops the cycle), and then I guess just forget to start the drier again. This becomes a major irritation at 11:00pm when you are running downstairs in shorts in the middle of January in order to throw your clothes into a basket. But, what do you do? I could go purchase a washer and drier, but what fun would that be? I would miss the experience of paying $1.o0 for every load I wash and another .75 for every load that is dried!

Well, on to my story. So it was 9:00 and I placed my clothes in two of the washing machines in the "mini-Laundromat" and went out to the pool to hang out while they were washing. After about 20 minutes, I notice a woman carrying her laundry to the room. Well, considering there are only three washing machines, and I had taken two, I decided to go let her know that I would be placing my clothes in the drier shortly, (by now it was almost 9:30). I walk in the small L shaped room, and notice that the woman was Spanish. No problem. I proceed to explain, "I am about to move my clothes as soon as they are done drying". She said something in Spanish, and broken English to the effect of "I don't understand". So, now I find myself in an interesting spot. How do I explain this to someone who doesn't understand English? I suddenly find that apparently 3 years of Spanish in High School had never prepared me for a situation such as this (How do I say washing machine in Spanish?) After thinking on this question for a moment, being the genius that I am, I begin to assume that I have a gift to be able to communicate in Spanish through sign language and that this woman would be able to understand it! As I point to the washer, and call out in a Slow louder voice (apparently in my brain, anything that is said slower, and louder is a guaranteed means of producing understanding) "MY CLOTHES ARE IN HERE, I WILL BE BACK IN 5 MINUTES TO MOVE THEM" By this time the woman looked even more confused, and I realized that I think she understood I was five years old, or something to that affect. So, I left the little room, and went to my apartment to grab quarters. I ran back into the Washing room, and placed my clothes into the two driers that are there. AND OF COURSE, after putting my clothes in and putting .75 I turn on one of the driers and NOTHING! Great! now I have lost .75 and have a pile of wet clothes with no where to go! So, being a quick thinker, I loaded those clothes in with my other set in the now 1 remaining working drier. I figure I would run this drier twice in the hopes that the extended time would dry the mountain of clothing being thrown around inside. So, after trying to explain to my new washing friend that the other drier was broken, in my unique form of sign language, I head back to my apartment to sit and wait. Now by this time we were pushing 10:00, and it was going to be at least an hour before I could grab my clothes. My thoughts were to her, she would not even be able to start drying, (3 loads of clothes), until at least 11:00. So, at about 10:30, I run back to the quarter evaporation machine, and throw in another .75. By now I had spent a grand total of $4.25 to wash two loads of clothes! So I then go back to the apartment and finish waiting. Now, at about 11:00 I leave out of the apartment with my laundry basket, with the expectation that I would find my clothes in a big heap in the drier. When I turned the corner to the laundry room, I saw it! My new friend whom I had developed a very extensive sign language vocabulary with, had folded my clothes and placed them neatly on the table beside the drier! I almost fell over! Literally. At that moment, I was so humbled, and thankful, I wanted to run to the different apartments, and bring people to show them what had happened! It was all I could do not to run around and and do cartwheels. I could not believe my eyes. My friend was nowhere in site, and I desperately wanted to say thank you. For those of you questioning why I would be so happy about such a gesture, all I can say is that you must have never walked into a group of communal driers, and seen all your clothes piled in a mountain wrinkled, and only half dry. After experiencing something like that on more than one occasion, the amount of excitement and joy that occurs when someone actually makes laundry day a blessing is unspeakable! So, anyway that is that, I have been forever spoiled by the generosity and caring of someone who I can't even say "thank you" to. I will never look at laundry day the same way again.

"This is the Good Life"

As I was shopping in one of my favorite Christian Bookstores last night for a bible study, I ran over to the music department to look for some new music.(Yes, I do realize that I am one of the last remaining 20 somethings to actually pay full-price for a CD at a brick and mortar store). So as I was looking around and didn't really see anything I felt like wanting to buy, I thought.." for the first time ever, I think Im going to leave here and only purchase the one item I originally planned on purchasing." Then, just as suddenly as the realization had occurred to me, I turn the corner and what do I find? THE SALE RACK!! YES! I step over, and begin scoping out the titles of a pretty big selection of older CD's. Of course, my first thought was "I wonder if there are any Newsboys Cd's in here?" But upon further inspection I didn't see any. Then I find a diamond in the rough....another favorite band, Audio Adrenaline! (http://www.audioa.com/default.aspx). As I looked over the back cover, I decided this album was certainly worth its price. So, there you go, once again I check out from Mardel's with more than I had intended to buy. There certainly is no buyers remorse, because this morning I was certainly blessed by this one small purchase.

I wake up this morning, and have a feeling that it could be one of the tough days. As I get ready for work, I try to stay focused on the blessings I have and on how awesome it is to be able to know God. Then I start to recall a verse that the Lord has been placing in my path on a pretty regular basis. From quiet time, to conversations.........I have either seen, or heard Matthew 6:33 (But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.) on almost a daily basis over the last week, or so. Today, it floods my thoughts as I jump into the Chevy and head out to face the North Dallas traffic. As I normally do, I turn the ignition, and then turn up my music. For me, this is the only way to start the day off. Praise and worship have helped me so much in my walk, and I continue to lean on them in times of trouble, heart ache, and despair. I figure, one day, that is all Im going to want to do anyway, and even though I can't really sing or dance, I know that God is so happy when he sees us try. So, out of the driveway of the apartment complex I start changing the track, looking for that one song to start the day with, you know, the song that gets stuck in your head for the rest of day. I listen to one or two great songs, and then it happens!.........The first chorus rushes into my heart, and I find my heart just at such peace at that moment. I couldn't explain it, but I was just listening, and soaking up the words that seemed to be written just for me, at the time. The sound is called "Good Life" and although I am a fan of Audio Adrenaline, I don't think I had ever heard it before. Here are some of the lyrics:

Good Life by Audio Adrenaline

This is the good life
I've lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of

This is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in your arms

Loneliness has left me searching
For someone to love
Poverty has changed my view
Of what true riches are
Sorrow's opened up my eyes
To see what real joy is
Pain has been the catalyst
To my heart's happiness

I realized that I have changed so much since I have come to know how wonderful and fulfilling the Lord is. If it were possible for me to go back in time and meet myself three years ago, I would probably have persecuted myself when I saw the person I have become today. My wants, my desires, my dreams, I have lost them all, because of Christ, but what I have found after I let them go is Him, He has surpassed my wildest dreams. Loneliness, Poverty, Sorrow, and Pain have all been a part of getting me where I am. Without any one of these difficult parts of life, I don't think I would have fallen so deeply in love with the bountiful blessings, peace, and love of Christ. How could I? I wouldn't have as great of an understanding of how truly sufficient his grace is.

I have found out what it means to live the good life, and all the ideas and thoughts I used to hold as so important and so dear, are now vague and hazy memories of the person I used to be. As Paul states, "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ." Philippians 3:7. How do I continue on this path of following the lord through difficulties, hurts, pains, and sufferings, that sometimes goes with this worldly body? I think the answer falls in this verse, "..seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you." This, I am learning is the only true way to experience the good life, and what a good life it is!

A Few Things I have Noticed About Working Full-Time

Just a few observations I have come up with since graduating and beginning a full-time job back in January.....

1. Sticky Notes are AWESOME, but my problem seems to be that I can't remember to look at them.

2. Fax machines have got to be the greatest invention in the world!

3. Suddenly gaining weight is not as difficult as it once was

4. Everything is always better on Friday

5. Coffee is sometimes the only reason I make it to work in the morning (And Im not a coffee drinker!)

6. Amazingly, the hours after lunch always, always last longer than the hours before, even if there are fewer of them

7. I am now on a first name basis with the dry cleaners and everyone who makes the sandwiches at Subway down the block.

Have a great weekend

-Josh

Don't Discount the Importance of a Good Mattress

My back hurts. It is because of my mattress.

As I was reminded late last week while driving, my mattress really needs to be replaced.

I remember when I bought it. Two years ago, as I was getting geared up to start my journey to Dallas, I realized I needed a smaller bed if I was going to move into a 450sq foot apartment. Now, at the time, I certainly was not rolling in the dough, so I had my radar on the look out for a good deal. I searched high and low, because I could just not get my mind around spending $500-$600 for something as boring as a mattress. To me, there just had to be a better deal than to give into the over inflated mattress retail market. (Remember at that time, I was very interested in the bottom line and very proud and very stubborn, my priorities, one could say were out of line, almost to the point of obsession)

One day, while scouring the want adds, for a used mattress, I SEE IT! Full-size mattress sets starting at $150, Queen size at $200, King size at $250! Woo-Hoo! I knew it! What a deal!
I throw down the paper, and run to the phone as fast as I could, because I knew a deal like this was not going to be around forever. I wasn't going to miss the boat. So, I call up the number under the add, and a nice guy answers the phone. After a short conversation about mattresses, he gives me the address to his place of business. Now, looking back, it might have been wise to have looked a little closer at the name of the company, and address that was given, but hey,......$150 for a mattress, the details about the business are insignificant!

As I look up the "location" or should I say rendezvous point, on the internet, a thought flashes across my mind, "I have been out in this area before, and all there is are small storage unit like warehouses. I don't recall seeing any mattress businesses out there.......Ah Well, $150!" After getting the directions I leave to fulfill my mission of a mattress under $200! After a short drive, I pull up to the address I had listed on my internet map, and just as expected....no mattress store in site.

The exact address was to a large tin, storage warehouse, no real entrance, except for a large garage type door. After looking around for a few minutes and realizing that my "mattress dealer" apparently only actually attended his business establishment at specified appointment times, I began to question the logic of this decision. Well, shortly thereafter my mattress salesman arrived, and "opened the business", i.e. pulled the door up. I walk into a large tin building, with mattresses as far as the eye could see. There were even a few "floor models" in which you could test the mattress before you "carried it out". So, after some small talk, I was shown the coveted $150 mattress set, "uh-huh" I said. You see, I don't know a lot about mattresses, but I decided that a mattress that you could feel each individual spring, and count each one in the same fashion as someone would count your ribs when tickling you, is probably not going to be something you would want to sleep on. So.....we moved up one level to the $200 full-size set (which by the way is the one I purchased). Now, in this model you could not feel the springs, but I will say that it certainly showed its quality, when I picked it up with one hand and twirled it around on one finger......(I wasn't a very big guy back then, either). But, for me, the deal was much much sweeter than any good nights sleep that I would have on a more expensive mattress! So, I said...Sold! We opened up the other garage door, I pulled my truck around, literally threw the mattress in the bed, and we were all set to go!

Now, as I look back on that decision, the question arises, "Josh, now was that really a good deal?" As I head to the kitchen for some aspirin I tell myself...."of course, $200 for a bed set! you can't beat it!"..........opening the aspirin....and grimacing "Yea, you really showed the world with this one!"

My back still hurts.

Short Today

Not much time to write today. But something I found in my quiet time.

"And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he said this plainly. And Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. But turning and seeing the disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, "Get behind me Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." And he called to the crowd with his disciples and said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." Matthew 8: 31-35

Some questions to ponder:

How did Satan work in this instance?

What does it mean to deny yourself and take up your cross?

What does it look like when you lose your life for Christ?

Hope all are blessed!

Happenings as I Drove Home Part 2

Continued from Monday.......

So, after removing said mattress from the underbelly of my truck, I proceeded on to the car rental place. After a few minutes, I was on the road! All was well the rest of the way home, and really, I didn't think much else of the mattress incident. That is, until I was headed back to Dallas on Sunday!

As I reached the outskirts of Huntsville Texas, I was driving down a small backroad and focusing very deeply on the emotional baggage that I wanted to "leave on the side of the road" when suddenly, I look up and see a small sign. "Sam Houston Grave Site"--------->. Really, If I hadn't been looking directly at that place at that moment, I would probably have driven right by without being any wiser. But, as I passed, my mind started tossing around these words "Sam Houston Grave Site". So in a matter of seconds, my mind takes the information, and processes it. Sam Houston was one of Texas's Heros. From what I remember about third grade Texas History he was a very important man to Texas gaining its independence. Bottom line is that for a Texan, this man is a legend. So, I thought......I would like to see the grave site of a Texas Legend, I bet there is an elaborate display, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a line of people just sitting there staring at this grave site! Exciting stuff! So, I very swiftly maneuvered my Neon around the block and headed in the direction the arrow on the sign was pointing. A couple of turns later, I find myself parked in front of this somewhat large monument (Id say about 8 or 9 feet tall), that had an etching of Sam Houston on it. I get out of Neon (by this time the car and I were on a first name basis), and I walk around to the front of this memorial. There I find the grave of a Texas Legend. As I stood there, I just got the realization that really after all this man had accomplished in his life, and after all the history books had been written, here he is. So much about him has faded over time, an now I would venture to say that outside of Texas you would probably have a difficult time finding people who have even heard of him. Basically, I was blessed in that moment. I realized that in this life no matter what we accomplish, no matter what we do, in a matter of years, few people, if any, will remember us. But, while we are on this Earth, we have the opportunity every day to make an eternal impact on the lives of those around us that will not fade and erase over time, but will last forever. Needless to say, this little detour had provided me a great perspective that will be with me for years.

In closing, I wanted to wrap up with some of things the Lord showed me through my two somewhat unexpected turns while driving this weekend.

Number one, as we walk through our life we can be confronted with unexpected flying mattresses that we have little or no time to react to. Even in those moments when we don't know what's going to happen, or what is going to become of this event, the Lord can place blessings in our life to help, that we would never expect (my new friend in the jeep)!
So, was the reason I was attacked by a mattress because of the trial, or because of the blessing of seeing a perfect stranger take the time to care. I don't know. It could be both or neither.

Number two, sometimes when we get so focused on working through our faith (dropping emotional baggage), that we might miss the road sign pointing towards a blessing!

Hope all are blessed today!

Happenings as I Drove Home

I made it home in one piece this weekend, although there was almost too much alone time! Almost, but not quite. As predicted there were certainly more than enough one sided conversations with myself. There were also some exciting happenings along the drive that I certainly want to make mention of.

First, after I left work on Friday, happily driving down to pick up my nice, shiny NEON (which was actually kind of fun to drive) ( yes, I have issues) the trip was close to being cut short. As always, I was driving my truck with one hand on the steering wheel, while talking on the phone and shifting gears with the other, when suddenly, I look up, and see a queen size mattress disconnect from the El Camino in front of me, and come flying like a mad albatross straight for my truck's grill. Now, while many would consider this a rather disconcerting experience, all I remember thinking is, ( keep in mind, still talking on the phone) "this is going to be interesting". I had no time to react, and before I knew it, I had run straight over the top of the mattress. Whew! Glad that was over, no harm no foul, right? WRONG! As I pressed oh so cautiously on the gas pedal of the truck, I notice the horsepower just wasn't there. I glanced over at my mirrors, and low and behold what do I find? I was dragging a mattress along the side of my truck by my back passenger tire. Hum! What to do in a situation such as this? There were a couple of options from which to chose: 1. Pull over, 2. Speed Up and pray it comes disconnected 3. Continue on the path I was going, and drive the mattress to the house and keep it. (I need a new mattress too!). Well, after a short moment of processing I decided option one was probably the best route to take. So, I pulled over (as did the El-Camino) and I proceeded to look at the damage. It should be noted that a really nice guy in a jeep behind me also pulled over to inspect the renegade mattress fiasco as well. So what did I find? One of the mattress springs had decided it would be fun to wrap around my strut! Fun Fun. So, long story short, after 20 minutes of driving back and forth over the mattress, me my new best friend in the jeep, and the el Camino crew manage to get the mattress released from its death grip on my truck. Now the funny part about all this is the way I cut short my phone conversation (obviously, I needed to see about the mattress, and I figured my full attention would be needed for this project) Best I can remember it went something like this: "Hey, uh, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I just ran over a mattress, and I think it is stuck to my truck", the other side of the phone, "....."huh? okay, right." "bye"..."bye".

To be continued.......

Quick Note

A few things that I have observed this week:

1. When you get a new cell phone it is always a pain to figure out how to send text messages.

2. People always seem to give awkward goodbye's when they are in a hurry. They can't decide if they should take the time to say something more or not. Usually it lands somewhere in the middle of a pleasant casual see you later and a muffled rushed "later".

3. The thing I can't stand about washing clothes is the whole folding thing, it is much more complicated than it looks

4. I don't like buying gasoline right now

5. No matter how old you get, you will always be protected by your big sister, and always insulted by your little brother!

6. Most of the time your worst critic is yourself

7. Cubicles cause me claustrophobia

8. Time stops for 30 minutes at 3:00 on Friday!

BTW-if you get a chance, I posted a blog for Wednesday, today (don't ask me how I did it), its of a little more substance than this.